Finding Light in the Shadows of Holiday Grief

If grief and sadness is present in the midst of this holiday season, know you are not alone. I am right here with you. While the world emphasizes festivity and cheerfulness, this can be challenging for those who are grieving the absence of a loved one. Having to approach this season where we remember the familiar holiday traditions and gatherings, coping with the loss of a loved one can reshape our experiences and can cast a heavy shadow. Rituals and traditions have a hand in shaping our lives. When someone is absent, we not only mourn their presence but also realize that the ritual has changed. The joy and comfort these traditions once brought may now cast the shadows of deep sadness, loneliness and pain as we navigate new ways of commemorating these moments. Navigating grief is a complex and unpredictable ebb and flow. Amidst the grief, emotions may range, creating a nuanced landscape of feelings. It’s important to acknowledge that peace and solace can still be found during this time. Here are tips that have supported my clients in finding light in the shadows:

Power in Your Support Circle

Seek solace in the company of those who have experienced grief or show empathy towards it. Connection and unity can be powerful healers. Sharing stories about your loved one, even to those unfamiliar with them, can be therapeutic. For me, it’s those moments I get to experience a bit of light in the shadows. You might even want to consider joining a grief support group or connecting with a trained and compassionate therapist for additional support. 

Celebrate the Life of Your Loved One

Finding solace in routine practices can offer comfort during grief– light a candle, write a letter, showcase photos, play their favorite music or movies, prepare their favorite food dishes, or visit a place that reminds you of them. 

Give Yourself the Time You Need to Grieve

And finally, please recognize that each person, even within the same family, grieves uniquely. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. More often than not, the grief we experience needs the offering of gentleness and kindness towards self. Can you honor your needs? What might those needs be? For me, while the rest of the world is turning up to Mariah Carey, I turn up Radiohead and offer myself a good cry. I’ve even created a “Sad Kat” spotify playlist to honor the grief. As you navigate this process, my hope is that you remember that grief is a profound expression of love.