Anger, frustration, and being overwhelmed- how do we emotionally regulate and navigate ourselves?

I have noticed how impactful it is to work with and understand our emotions and express them healthily. Many people find this easier said than done, and I agree. Here are some things that can be helpful and that we should be aware of when working to understand ourselves and our emotions.

1. When working with emotional regulation, it’s always helpful to have a therapist guide you through the process if you have the means to do so.

2. When we work with ourselves and our emotions, it's helpful to understand how our surroundings and upbringing impacted the way we handle these emotions at the outset.

3. What triggers our emotional intensity? What escalates our emotions to a higher degree? Knowing what triggers us means we have an idea of how to cope.

4. It's essential to be aware of coping skills and what helps us in times of high distress. These skills include distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and communication and handling of the situation.

5. Understanding the levels of our emotional dysregulation is another helpful factor. Sometimes, we know what level we’re at and what helps us and what not to know what coping mechanisms help.

6. Ask what your environment can do to help you. Can people around you help? How can others improve the situation, such as changing the tone or how things are said? Ask how people can help and support you.

7. Our emotions will be valid, but not the intensity or action. Remember what we feel will be valid and make sense, but how we express 

8. Be patient with yourself and the process. It's hard to feel like we know what we need to do. Why isn’t it easy? Remember, if you’re used to doing things a certain way and your instincts are to react a certain way, it takes time to undo behaviors. Be patient with yourself. Getting better at our reactions takes time and patience.

Learning and building mastery on understanding our intense emotions and navigating them can be so beneficial. We can communicate with ourselves and others about what we feel and work together to better the situation for everyone involved. We can feel good knowing we handled the situation well and also feel our emotions and wants can be heard by others. Not lashing out or regretting our actions can make us feel better about ourselves and our self-image. So, if you need help and want to learn to handle intense emotional situations, it’s worth reaching out for help!

Feeling Overwhelmed? What can you do to lessen the burden?

Sometimes we feel very overwhelmed with many responsibilities, self-care, and other things to help maintain ourselves and our lives. Has there been a time you have so much to do and you felt so stressed out you felt extremely dysregulated or spiraled? I think we all have been there before, especially me. I’m going to show some tips and tricks on what can do to help with the crushing feeling of being overwhelmed.

First off get your emotional level to be a bit more regulated. I know it’s way easier said than done, but I’m here to show you what you can do. Some things that you can do is look at some soothing and “improving the moment” techniques. Find things to soothe yourself using your five senses such as touching comforting things, smelling scents that help calm you down, tasting foods that make you happy, looking at things that are visually appealing, listen to music you enjoy. As for improving the moment, use imagery to visualize a space where you’re comfortable or even what would it look like to be less stressed, find the meaning of the things that you need to do maybe accomplishing one of your tasks has important meaning or reason, find mantras, songs, words of wisdom, or even prayer to help motivate you, do relaxation techniques such as breathing or stretches to relax or mind and body, try to live in the moment and push away future worries and be with the present, take a mini vacation from your responsibilities which basically means take a break and come back, and lastly encourage yourself with realistic expectations.

Once you use these techniques to settle down a bit now plan small goals for yourself. Tackle one task at a time to help being overwhelmed. Organize which tasks you can do from importance to less and even categorize which ones are easiest and fastest to achieve. Once you figure out what you can prioritize first begin to take small steps. If you need to break down your tasks further you can always look at SMART goals. (specific goals, measurable goals, achievable goals, realistic goals, time-sensitive goals).

Remember to try to stay in the moment and focus on your task/goals and the benefits are completing the task. If you have the privilege of someone to help you like a family member, friend, or partner to help you stay on course or even help you with a task try to utilize the help you can get. Once you complete some of you tasks and little goals remember to treat yo self. You deserve it. Life can be overwhelming at times, but once we can manage it a little better and gain some control.

Managing Overwhelm

I know there are moments when everyone feels overwhelmed and tired, managing triggers occurring in their lives. When you are feeling like this, how do you remain positive and trust what you are feeling is temporary? How do you overcome and find balance within? I know life has its moments when you feel the walls are caving in and you don’t know how to move forward or even what direction is forward. Right now, I want you to know you are not alone and many others have had experiences like this in their life. I want you to begin to reflect back on another moment you felt this way and begin to see how you overcame it? 

First and foremost, look back and see you did get out of it, you were able to shift into a better space and acknowledge you did this once before. Even if it was not often, lift yourself up and know you can do it again. Believe in yourself. Keep fighting for who you are and your higher peace. 

Acknowledge you did this for yourself and then begin to reflect back on what helped you shift out of it. Who was there to support you or give you guidance? What did you shift within yourself and your own process to lift yourself back out? What self-love practices or tools did you use that you found helpful? Begin to see yourself in your own strengths and take it one step at a time. Clear the fear or feeling of doubt in yourself. Clear the false belief that this experience is permanent and shift into the mindset everything is temporary, and you can choose to shift anything at any given moment. You can shift your environment, or more importantly how you chose to see your situation and begin to look at it through a lens of empowerment instead of feeling powerless. Focus on small shifts that will guide you --  if it is seeing the gratitude in your job, or your partner, for example. Or if it means taking time for yourself and doing things that honor your sense of peace, if it means organizing your life and prioritizing things and setting boundaries around things that are not honoring your needs and creating more space for yourself. 

Repeat this mantra, “I can do this, I am worthy of honoring my time and needs, I am capable of anything, I chose to see this moment as a lesson and I choose to rise and learn this lesson with gratitude for the opportunity to heal.”

Be clear about what you want and choose in your life. Journal, meditate, run or do whatever you feel helps you get clarity in these times. Once you have clarity, take action and trust that each small step forward is growth. I believe in you and know you can overcome anything that you are currently facing! You got this!