What Are Parasocial Relationships?

Why You Should Talk About Parasocial Relationships In Therapy 

As someone who is very online, I see some kind of commentary on parasocial relationships every day, and they are usually regarded as inherently harmful. If someone labels you as “parasocial,” it feels like an accusation. It’s cringe, and you should be embarrassed for caring so much about a person who doesn’t know you exist. As a result, those who experience parasocial connections with media figures may internalize that stigma/shame and adopt a more negative self-image. Therefore, it’s important for therapists to create spaces for their clients to explore these parasocial relationships and the very real and emotional impact they have on their mental well-being. Let’s take a look at what parasocial relationships are and their effects on our mental health.

What Are Parasocial Relationships?

Parasocial relationships are one-sided emotional bonds where an individual feels a connection or attachment to a media figure, such as a celebrity, influencer, or fictional character, despite having no direct, two-way interaction with them. These relationships often form through repeated exposure to a personality in media (e.g., TV, music, social media), where the individual feels they know the figure personally, even though the figure remains unaware of their existence.

While parasocial relationships can provide a sense of companionship and emotional support, especially for those who feel lonely, they are inherently unreciprocated. The rise of social media has intensified these dynamics, as influencers and content creators interact in ways that can feel personal and intimate, deepening the parasocial bond with their followers.

Positive Benefits of Parasocial Relationships

While parasocial relationships have limitations, they can positively influence emotional well-being and provide meaningful connections for many people. These relationships may serve as a source of emotional support and comfort, especially during challenging times, offering a sense of connection that can alleviate feelings of loneliness. Being part of a shared fandom fosters a sense of belonging and provides a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions without fear of judgment. These relationships also promote increased social interaction by connecting fans with one another. Additionally, parasocial relationships can also be a source of inspiration, as individuals often look to positive media figures as role models to guide them in pursuing their own dreams and ambitions.

Harmful Effects of Parasocial Relationships

While parasocial relationships can provide comfort and connection, they can also negatively impact mental health in several ways. These one-sided connections can create unrealistic expectations and disappointment when real-life relationships don't measure up to the perceived intimacy of these bonds. Parasocial relationships may encourage an emotional dependency that can make it challenging to form fulfilling, reciprocal connections with others. Constantly comparing real-life relationships to idealized media figures can also affect self-esteem. Additionally, becoming overly invested in these relationships can lead to obsessive behaviors, which can be emotionally exhausting.  

Understandably, the blurred boundaries between reality and fiction in parasocial relationships can cause emotional confusion and feelings of rejection due to the lack of reciprocated affection. Relying on these relationships as a form of escape can hinder emotional growth and increase isolation, intensifying mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. It's important to acknowledge these challenges and offer support to those who may be experiencing them.

The social stigma and shame attached to parasocial relationships can also have a detrimental impact on an individual’s mental well-being. This often stems from the perception that they are inherently unhealthy or indicative of social inadequacy and immaturity. Because these relationships are one-sided and non-reciprocal, people who engage in them are sometimes viewed as being out of touch with reality, “delusional,” or overly invested in fantasy. Critics may dismiss these connections as superficial or trivial, especially when they involve celebrities or influencers with highly curated online personas. Additionally, the emotional distress resulting from these relationships is often minimized because they are not “real” relationships. This stigma can discourage open conversations about parasocial relationships, reinforcing the idea that they are inherently problematic and those experiencing them should be ashamed of these connections.

Bringing Parasocial Relationships to Therapy

Talking with a trusted therapist about parasocial relationships could really help ease any feelings of shame caused by social stigma. Keeping these relationships hidden can make those feelings last longer. People often hide these connections because they fear being judged or ridiculed, making them feel isolated and secretive. This shame can worsen if they feel like their attachment is strange or a sign of weakness compared to more socially accepted relationships. Over time, keeping it all a secret can make them feel less confident, as they might think others don't understand or validate their feelings, which just adds to the negativity. This internalized shame can also stop people from seeing the good parts of parasocial relationships, leaving them stuck in a cycle of guilt and suppression. Exploring these connections in a safe space can encourage curiosity instead of criticism and help with personal growth.

Even though parasocial relationships aren’t reciprocal, they can feel very real and very intense, and we should all be able to explore how they impact our lives without shame or judgment.

GGOC Spotlight: Karley White

Karley White (She/Her), an Associate Marriage & Family Therapist (#118863) at Gather and Grow OC, helps clients uncover their unique life stories and find inner balance. Under the supervision of Jacqueline Plante, Director (CA Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #91084), she uses humor and integrates clients’ passions into therapy. Karley is committed to LGBTQ+-affirming, sex-positive, kink-positive, antiracist, and anti-ableist care.

For a compassionate guide through your unique journey, REACH OUT to Karley today.

Gaming Your Way to Self-Discovery

Hey there, Gaming Growers! It's no secret that I love video games, especially those that incorporate mental health-related themes. As a therapist, I've also seen firsthand how gaming can encourage the self-discovery process. In this blog post, we’ll explore the benefits of shadow work and how games can help you tackle your inner shadows, navigate emotional challenges, and come out of the experience with a whole new level of self-awareness. Let's glimpse the exciting blend of gaming and therapy and how to level up your self-exploration.

What is shadow work?

 Shadow work in the context of mental health refers to the therapeutic process of exploring and acknowledging the often hidden aspects of one's psyche, including repressed emotions, unresolved trauma, and deep-seated fears. By facing and embracing aspects of the self that may be rooted in shame, individuals can reduce the impact of unconscious influences on their mental and emotional well-being and reclaim the ability to self-regulate during challenging moments. Shadow work can be a transformative tool for improving mental health, fostering self-awareness, and promoting emotional resilience, ultimately leading to a healthier and more authentic self-concept and a greater sense of inner peace.

How can video games help with shadow work?

 Playing video games is a great method for engaging in shadow work. These digital landscapes provide a controlled and immersive environment in which players can explore their hidden selves, unresolved emotions, and the unexamined aspects of their personalities. Many games feature deep narratives and complex characters, allowing players to establish strong emotional connections with the virtual world, which can trigger introspection about their own emotions, motivations, and unresolved issues. This process often leads to increased self-awareness, as players are encouraged to directly confront their inner conflicts, much like they might do in therapy.

Additionally, video games with moral choices, branching narratives, and symbolic elements can be particularly effective tools for shadow work. By engaging with these games and reflecting on their in-game decisions, individuals can better understand their own motivations, fears, and desires. However, it's crucial for individuals to approach this process with self-compassion and mindfulness, as some gaming experiences can elicit strong emotions.

Video games for shadow work:

 (If needed, please research content warnings before playing)

●      Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

●      Silent Hill 2

●      Soma

●      Night in the Woods

●      The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

●      Life is Strange*

●      Undertale

●      Papo & Yo

●      What Remains of Edith Finch*

●      Gris

*As featured in volume I of my video game blog series :)

 
Well, there you go, gamers! I hope you found this contribution helpful as you continue (or begin) your journey towards self-discovery. Let me know if you’ve played any of the above-mentioned games and your take on their therapeutic impact, or share any additional game recommendations. I love hearing about what people are playing! :)

3 Video Games That Will Make You Feel Things (Vol. IV - Spooky Edition)

Happy Spooky Season, Gaming Growers! It’s my favorite time of the year, and there’s nothing like a good scary game to accompany these longer nights. Here are three horror (but not too scary) games that also feature mental health-related themes for those of us who like a side of creepiness with our feelings. Have fun!!

Note about content warnings: For each game, I’ve provided a link to its page on doesthedogdie.com where you can find an extensive list of content warnings. These games feature pretty heavy topics, so please be careful if you’re interested in playing.

Alice: Madness Returns (2011)

Besides the bonus points it earns for speaking directly to my inner emo teenager, "Alice: Madness Returns" is an amazing narrative experience. It’s a dark and surreal action-adventure video game that serves as a sequel to the classic "Alice in Wonderland" story. Throughout the game, the player takes on the role of Alice Liddell and guides her through a quest to piece together her fractured memories. Set in a nightmarish and twisted version of Wonderland, players navigate through a visually stunning yet disturbing world filled with grotesque creatures, puzzles, and combat encounters. As Alice unravels the mystery behind her family's tragic past and her own mental turmoil, players uncover a tale of trauma, survival, and healing in a beautifully haunting and macabre reimagining of a beloved literary world.

The game not only portrays mental health themes through its narrative but also integrates them into its gameplay mechanics. The game combines platforming, action, and puzzle-solving elements, mirroring the unpredictability of Alice's mental state. Throughout the journey, Alice acquires various weapons and abilities that symbolize her struggle for self-discovery and control. Her iconic Vorpal Blade represents her desire to cut through the confusion, while the Pepper Grinder acts as an outlet for her anger and frustration. As players progress, they are tasked with exploring creepy landscapes, each a reflection of Alice's subconscious, offering metaphorical insights into her mind.

Mental health-related themes: trauma, grief/loss, dissociation, depersonalization, isolation, repressed memories, confronting trauma, and the healing journey.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFrs5UGB-ns&ab_channel=ElectronicArts

Platforms: PlayStation, Xbox, Windows

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/17282

Blair Witch (2019)

Full disclosure: The Blair Witch Project is my favorite horror movie ever, so my expectations for the game were unrealistically high. While "Blair Witch," the video game, doesn’t quite hold the same charm as the original film, I still think it deserves a recommendation. Set in the eerie Black Hills Forest, the game follows Ellis, a troubled former police officer with a history of trauma and guilt. As he ventures into the haunted woods to search for a missing boy, his obsession with redemption becomes intertwined with the malevolent forces lurking in the darkness. The game blurs the line between reality and delusion, mirroring Ellis' inner turmoil as players confront their own fears and anxieties. With a flashlight and his loyal dog by his side, Ellis’ journey features themes of guilt, trauma, and the human perception of reality, making it a haunting exploration of the mind while facing supernatural entities.

"Blair Witch" intricately weaves mental health themes into its gameplay mechanics. Ellis' trusty dog, Bullet, serves as both a loyal companion and a source of emotional support, mirroring the importance of connection in mental health recovery. As players progress, they must solve cryptic puzzles and unravel the mysteries of the Blair Witch, all while facing terrifying manifestations of their own inner demons. The game's camera, used to document evidence, becomes a tool for reality manipulation, forcing players to question what's real and what's a product of Ellis’ PTSD-related derealization.

Mental health-related themes: PTSD, guilt, isolation, grief/loss, perception of reality, dissociation, and self-understanding.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m50j3t52TtY&ab_channel=GameSpot

Platforms: PC, PlayStation, Xbox, Switch

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/20458

Scarlet Hollow (2021)

"Scarlet Hollow" is an incredibly engaging interactive visual novel that places mental health at its core, enveloping players in a captivating tale of personal struggles and supernatural mysteries. Set in the isolated rural town of Scarlet Hollow, the story follows a character whose name, gender, and personality are completely determined by the player. The start of the game finds this character visiting Scarlet Hollow for the first time at the behest of their estranged cousin. From there, the playable character goes on to uncover dark secrets and confront the town's haunting history. As choices unfold and relationships form, the game beautifully explores themes of trauma, anxiety, and depression, providing players with opportunities to shape the protagonist's emotional journey. Through immersive storytelling and character-driven interactions, "Scarlet Hollow" takes players on a riveting ride through the complexities of mental health, underscoring the importance of empathy, self-discovery, and resilience in the face of adversity.

Character development plays a significant role throughout “Scarlet Hollow,” with deep and nuanced personalities that evolve based on player choices, allowing for multiple branching narratives and endings. The game's distinctive feature is its use of a "trust and personality" system, where players must decide who to trust and how to build relationships with the residents of Scarlet Hollow, affecting not only the storyline but also the protagonist's mental state and well-being. This dynamic relationship mechanic is intertwined with the mental health themes, highlighting the importance of connections and the impact they have on one's emotional journey. As players navigate the intricate web of secrets and supernatural events in the town, "Scarlet Hollow" challenges them to grapple with their own emotional responses, making it a truly powerful and emotionally resonant gaming experience.

Mental health-related themes: grief/loss, trauma, emotional abuse, anxiety, depression, acceptance, LGBTQ+ exploration, and forgiveness.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YThVRmSf7cI&ab_channel=GamingOnLinux

Platforms: PC

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/708060

3 Video Games That Will Make You Feel Things (Vol. III)

And the series continues! Here are three more game/visual novel recommendations for our Gaming Growers! See you next month :)

Note about content warnings: For each game, I’ve provided a link to its page on doesthedogdie.com where you can find an extensive list of content warnings. These games feature pretty heavy topics so please be careful if you’re interested in playing.

Firewatch (2016)

Even if you’re not a Gamer, you’ve probably heard of Firewatch. For a while, it was a pretty popular go-to for streamers and gaming-centered content creators due to its beautiful graphics and compelling story. It doesn’t take much gameplay to understand why so many people were drawn in by this game. With its calming (and unsettling) forest atmosphere and complicated characters, Firewatch pulls players into a state of self-reflection and examines concepts like isolation, loneliness, connection, guilt, and identity.

Firewatch is a first-person adventure game in which the player takes on the role of Henry, a recently hired forest fire lookout preparing for an extended period of isolation within the Shoshone National Forest. As the game begins, the player is taken through a prologue in which they get to choose important aspects of Henry’s past that will come into play throughout the game. It is also within this prologue that the player learns that Henry’s wife has recently been diagnosed with early-onset dementia. Throughout the game, the only other person that Henry can interact with is Delilah, another lookout and his supervisor. As the story progresses, Henry and Delilah form a close bond and share intimate details of their lives. While their friendship grows stronger, they realize something isn’t quite right within the forest. From there, not only does the player find themselves immersed in an emotional character-driven narrative, but they are also tasked with solving a mystery (or three).  

Mental health-related themes: emotional well-being, loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, conformity, burnout, and self-care.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d02lhvvVSy8&ab_channel=CampoSantoProductions

Platforms: PC, Mac, Nintendo Switch, Xbox, PlayStation

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/20585

Life Is Strange: Before the Storm (2017)

Life Is Strange: Before the Storm is the prequel to the iconic and resonant Life Is Strange, which I wrote about in Vol. I of this series. While Life Is Strange is Max Caulfield’s story, Before the Storm is centered around her best friend (and fan favorite), Chloe Price, and Chloe’s friendship with the mysterious Rachel Amber. Although Before the Storm didn't emotionally wreck me as much as its predecessor, I was deeply moved by the game's raw representation of grief. I especially appreciated how the writers utilized dreams as a way to connect with loved ones who have passed on.

Before the Storm is an adventure game that depends heavily on character dialogue and focuses on character/relationship development. The player's decisions influence the game's storyline during critical moments, which can result in significant plot changes. Chloe, a rebellious teenager who is dealing with grief, depression, and alienation, is the game's playable character. Two years before the story's start, Chloe's father died in a car accident, and her best friend, Max, moved away. She also has trouble adjusting to her mother's boyfriend, David, who wants to be an authoritative father figure. The game begins with Chloe meeting Rachel Amber, a popular and charismatic classmate, and follows their journey of self-discovery and rebellion as their friendship grows.

Mental health-related themes: grief and loss, anger, resentment, abandonment, family/parental relationships, friendship, and self-destructive behaviors.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=life+is+stange+before+the+storm+trailer

Platforms: PC, Mac, Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo Switch

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/21814

Eliza (2019)

Eliza kind of feels like the premise for a Black Mirror episode. A huge part of the story features the playable character acting as a human proxy for a chatbot program that provides counseling services, so I believe my therapist-flavored existential dread is warranted here. On a more serious note, Eliza inspired me to contemplate how technological advances (namely AI) impact access to mental health services and the quality of those services. I consider myself an advocate for treatment access, but the thought of automated programs doing therapy gives me the willies. Eliza challenged me to meet that fear with curiosity.

Eliza is an interactive visual novel set in a near-future reality. Players take on the role of Evelyn, a former tech industry worker recovering from burnout. During this transitional period, Evelyn begins work as a proxy for an AI therapy program called Eliza. Guiding clients through therapy sessions, Evelyn encounters individuals facing various mental health challenges while also grappling with her own personal struggles and evolving feelings about technology. The game prompts players to reflect on themes of burnout, existential crises, the impact of technology on human connection, and self-advocacy. Through its immersive storytelling, Eliza offers a thought-provoking exploration of the intersection between technology and mental health in a society on the brink of change.

Mental health-related themes: burnout, existential crisis, depression, anxiety, ethics, friendship, life transitions, and self-advocacy.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n53Z8LMg2wo&ab_channel=NintendoofAmerica

Platforms: PC, Nintendo Switch

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/999060

3 Video Games That Will Make You Feel Things (Vol. II)

Hello again! Here are three more games that are super fun but also may make you cry and examine your personal values. Enjoy! :)

Note about content warnings: For each game, I’ve provided a link to its page on doesthedogdie.com where you can find an extensive list of content warnings. These games feature pretty heavy topics so please be careful if you’re interested in playing.

Neo Cab (2019)

Neo Cab is an interactive visual novel set in the near future that incorporates survival elements, meaningful choices, interesting characters, and emotion-based gameplay. You play as Lina, a driver for a car service called Neo Cab, who has just moved to the city of Los Ojos to live with her estranged best friend, Savy. While she is hopeful that this move will be the new start she is looking for, Lina’s plans are interrupted when Savy immediately goes missing upon her arrival. For the next week, the player must help Lina navigate an unfamiliar city, maintain a high Neo Cab rating, keep her cool while driving challenging riders, and solve the disappearance of her missing friend, all without a place to live.

Neo Cab is primarily narrative-driven, heavily relying on character interactions to move the story along. In other words, I knew this game would be my jam the second I heard about it (Narrative therapist, remember?)  However, Neo Cab further touches my therapist heart by integrating the main character’s emotions into how she responds to the world around her. For example, if Lina is too sad or angry, some dialogue options won’t be available, which could block potential storylines. Also, Lina’s emotional state may prevent her from working, which puts her safety and overall well-being at risk (because capitalism). The developers really had something to say, and I’m so glad they said it.

Mental health-related themes: emotional well-being, loneliness, isolation, anxiety, depression, conformity, burnout, and self-care.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S40wdk03meg&ab_channel=GameTrailers

Platforms: PC, Mac, Nintendo Switch, Mobile

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/936590

Tell Me Why (2020)

Tell Me Why is breathtakingly gorgeous, both in terms of it’s setting (picturesque Alaska) and it’s deeply emotional story. When it comes to video games featuring mental health related themes, this is an obvious pick. I loved this game pretty much immediately because of it’s beautiful visuals, but what really made it a favorite is its nuanced characters and creative take on storytelling, memories, and trauma. Tell Me Why is also the first AAA game to feature a trans main character, AND that character is played by a trans voice actor. The developers also collaborated with LGBTQ+ groups to make sure that they were honoring the lived experiences of actual trans folx.

Tell Me Why follows Tyler and Alyson, twin siblings who are reuniting after a decade apart. They were separated following their mother’s tragic death which resulted in one of the twins being sent away while the other was adopted by a local police officer. Now that Tyler and Alyson are adults, they are committed to putting their tragic past behind them, starting with cleaning and selling their childhood home. The player controls the twins as they explore their abandoned house while reckoning with their painful past. Along the way, the twins rediscover their telepathic abilities that allow them to share memories. Through this power, they learn that there is more to their history than they previously knew.

Mental health-related themes: LGBTQ+ issues, transgender issues, gender identity, sexuality, panic attacks, childhood trauma, abuse, parent loss, child loss, and memory.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KVrL_xirEk&ab_channel=IGN

Platforms: PC, Xbox

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/703033

As Dusk Falls (2022)

As Dusk Falls is an interactive drama that requires players to make decisions that will have a lasting impact on the game’s storyline. While many games from the interactive fiction genre hype up the importance of player choice, there’s something different about this one. The decisions feel more nuanced, simultaneously pulling at your heartstrings while challenging your moral compass. The characters are well-written, complicated, messy, and you are constantly aware of what’s at stake for each of them as you learn more about their lives. This makes for a gut-wrenching yet mesmerizing play experience. As the player, you are asked to examine your values and sense of justice, while answering the question, “What Would You Do?”

As Dusk Falls is equal parts family and crime drama. The player follows two families whose futures become entwined after a botched robbery. Throughout the game, you primarily control three characters: 1) Vince, a husband and father who is moving his family across the country after losing his job, 2) Jay, the youngest son in a complicated family who is trying to overcome overwhelming debt, and 3) Zoe, Vince’s daughter who is working through childhood trauma. Each of these characters (and you) must make difficult choices in high-pressure situations that create different branching storylines. As you play, you will notice that some storylines are no longer accessible. This means you can replay this game many times before uncovering its full impact.

Mental health-related themes: generational trauma, familial abuse, complicated family dynamics, job loss, trauma, forgiveness, personal growth, and resilience.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXzxEBfBrcQ&ab_channel=Xbox

Platforms: PC, Xbox

Content Warnings: https://www.doesthedogdie.com/media/916243